The Connection Conundrum

I remove my new laptop from the cardboard box and tight styrofoam packing, and carefully unwrap the sealed plastic wrap encasing it. I admire the sleek, brushed metal case that feels so solid and light in my hands. I got a really good deal on this certified refurbished model online, guaranteed to work right out of the box or my money back.

It looks so pristine and new. Was it ever even used? Maybe someone bought it, changed their mind before opening it, and returned it to the store brand new. If so, then I got myself a brand-new computer for a steal.

I set the laptop on the table, remove the cord from the plastic bag, and plug the power end into the wall socket and the connector end into the right-side input of the laptop. I press the “on” button. Nothing happens. No indicator lights, no beeps, no boot-up screen. I push the connector firmly into the input port to be sure it’s seated all the way and do the same for the plug in the wall outlet. I press the button again. Still nothing, no sign of life at all. I hope it’s not DOA. 

I remove the connector end from the laptop and inspect it closely. It looks fine, there’s nothing broken, although there could be something amiss internally that I can’t see. I do the same for the plug end and see nothing wrong. 

I try again, pushing the connector in tightly until there’s resistance and I can push no more. I press the button and…nothing. I release the pent-up  breath I was holding. Oh boy. Time to troubleshoot. I remove the wall socket plug and plug in my living room table lamp to test the outlet. The light comes on bright and strong, so I know the outlet is live. 

I have no way of testing the power cord, and I’m not sure that’s the problem, anyway. What if it’s the laptop? Maybe a hardware problem? A software problem? It’s a conundrum I can’t fix, and I can’t know for sure without any diagnostic equipment to test it.  

I’m allowed a 30-day return window if it’s defective, but I really don’t want to send it back. I’ll have to package it up again, drop it off at the UPS store, reorder another one to replace it, and wait another week for it to arrive. And if I do, how do I know the next one won’t be defective too?

I rack my brain for a solution, and I find one. I’ll take it to the Nerd Crew down at the Electric Emporium. I hear their technicians are top-notch. They have the tools and expertise to troubleshoot it, and they can find out if it’s a bad cable or the laptop.

I call the store to make an appointment, and they tell me there’s an opening in fifteen minutes. Perfect. I grab the laptop and cord and drive to the store.  

I arrive a the Electric Emporium super-store and follow the arrows to the Nerd Crew kiosk, where I find two young, nerdy-looking guys talking behind the counter. Just who I want to see. I set down the laptop and cord in front of them and announce my name: “Hi, I’m Jason Blackstone, and I have an appointment for 3:00 p.m. I think I may have a dead laptop, or cord, not sure which. Can you help me?”

“I’m Todd,” says the lanky, blond-haired kid, I would guess is in his early 20s. “And I’m Malik,” pipes in the not-so-tall, curly-headed guy standing next to him. “Let’s look.”

He opens the laptop lid, plugs the cord into a socket and the connector plug into the input port on the left side. Wait, what? Left side? That’s not right. The input is on the right side. He’s got it wrong. I’m sure it won’t come on. 

Malik presses the “On” button, and a couple of tiny blue indicator lights on the keyboard light up, and the screen comes to life with a boot-up message that says “Welcome. Start Here.” 

“Seems to be working now,” says Todd. Are you sure you had the cord plugged in all the way? Or maybe the outlet you used wasn’t working?” 

My face flushes warm as realization settles over me. “Uh, yeah, it had power,” I reply, which is the truth. “Not sure why it didn’t work,” which is a lie, because now I know exactly why it didn’t work. 

I plugged the cord into the headphone jack on the right side, not the power input on the left side. Why did I assume it was the right one without actually looking? Oh my god, I’m such a dummy! 

But they don’t know what I did, and there’s no way I’m going to admit my error to these kids. I’m sure they already think Boomers like me are clueless dolts when it comes to technology. I’m not, but after this, I fear maybe I am. 

“You know, maybe the power outlet wasn’t working after all,” I say. I guess I should have checked it.”  Malik smiles — maybe it’s a smirk — and says “hey, yeah, man, no worries. You would be surprised how often that happens.” 

“It does?” I say. 

“All the time,” says Todd. We’ve even had people plug cords into the wrong inputs and think their devices are dead. Easiest fix in the world.”

Yeah, they know what I did, but they’re too nice to say it and embarrass me any further. I smile and say, “Thanks, I really appreciate your help. You guys have the magic touch.”  

“Ha! We’re just a couple of nerds who like fixing things,” says Todd. That’s why we’re part of the Nerd Crew.  

“Well, I’m not really a customer. I didn’t buy this computer here,” I confess. I bought it online, so I must owe you something. What’s the charge?” 

Nothing” answered Malik, “we didn’t really do anything. We’re glad to help. Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

“No thanks, I’m good, this is all I need. You guys…you nerds are the best.” They beam at the compliment, and Todd hands me the laptop, cord, and a business card with his name on it. Malik hands me his too. “Come in anytime you have a problem. Here’s our numbers for next time.” He winks. “Enjoy your new computer.” 

I turn to go, but I don’t want to leave the store without buying something, it just doesn’t seem right. I turn back to face Todd and Malik. “You know, I could use a new mouse. A good Logitech would be fine. My old one’s on the fritz.” Another lie, but I feel better about buying something to pay for the free service I just got.  

Fifteen minutes later I arrive home, plug the cord into the right input, which is on the left side, and press “On.” The little blue indicator lights come on, and the screen whirls up the “Welcome. Start Here” greeting. My shoulders loosen as the stress melts. I won’t have to send back my laptop after all. 

I feel a little silly about the entire episode, but I can’t beat myself up too much. I’ll chalk it up to another “senior moment,” which seems to happen more and more often these days. And when those moments come, which they surely will, I’m so glad I’ll have the Nerd Crew to help me through.