Little Rooms. Trap Doors.
Little Rooms. Trap Doors.
Stories using irony, absurdity, or exaggeration to poke at society, culture, politics, religion, and human behavior.
Bailiff Henry: “All rise. The court of Adverbial Malfeasance is in session.” Judge Zelda Sol walks through the chamber door and sits in the oversized leather chair behind the bench. Judge Zelda: “Good morning, everyone. Public Defender Miles Mercer, you…
The man with the oddly bronzed skin and thinning comb-over scowled into the cameras. “Voting by mail is cheating and must be stopped. It leads to fraud and rigged elections, and unfairly favors the other party.” He scrawled his signature…
The Red Kingdom had many dragons. The Blue Kingdom had no dragons. One day, the Red Kingdom’s spies arrived at the royal palace and bowed before the king. “Your Majesty, we have heard rumors that the Blue Kingdom is trying…
Noah stepped from the ark onto dry ground and looked to the sky. “Thank you, God, for saving me and my family and the animals.” “My pleasure,” said the Lord. “I’ll release the animals right away to go out and…
A dozen sheep plus two follow Noah down the ramp of the ark, blinking in the light of the sun they had not seen for a year. A dazzling rainbow stretches across the sky. One sheep turns to another. “What…
Black clouds gathered overhead. Thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed in the distance. Noah checked the shipping manifest: Crickets, seven pairs. Check. Ants, one pair. Check. Sheep, seven pairs. Check. Tyrannosaurus, one pair. Check. Food for the carnivores… Noah looked at the…
At first, it looked like dawn on the far side of the world. Another morning stirring people from their sleep, full of the laughter and promise of a new day. Until the horizon began to burn. As he watched it…
“Mom, did Jeffrey Dahmer become a born-again Christian before he died?” asked Jonny. “He said he did,” his mother answered. “So he went to heaven?” “If he became a believer, then yes, I guess he did.” “Did the people he…
The war lasted 47 minutes. The first missiles rose from their hidden silos in the Great Plains before dawn. The next wave launched from submarines lurking silently in the Mediterranean Sea. The last warhead arrived before the morning news had…
The doorbell jangled as a couple walked into the Smith Family Farms Cafe and took a seat at the crowded bar counter. Vera handed them menus and greeted them cheerfully, “Happy Independence Day!” “Hi,” the man replied. “We’re only having…
My mind wanders to a faraway place as the speaker on stage spins fanciful stories of miracles performed and prophecies fulfilled. “He’s a modern-day prophet,” said my best friend, Dave, who convinced me to come to this revival crusade tonight…
The President of the United States said that a big, beautiful ballroom would be the most secure place to keep people safe. I agree wholeheartedly with his assertion. In a country plagued by repeated acts of gun violence and threats…
The timer started. I’m doing a 15-minute writing sprint with Keiren Westwood, a writer I follow on YouTube. Now, I don’t have a story or even an idea at this moment, so I will free-write and see what comes…. The…
Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Trumpty together again
12-year-old Lucy Smith rushed into the living room, clutching her Bible, tears on her cheeks. “Daddy, I’m scared!” “Aww…come here, baby.” She ran to her father’s open arms, and he enveloped her in a gentle hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.…
A famous world leader I shall not name, Said, “Smart people don’t like me you know.” Well, that must make me immensely smart, For I dislike him intensely so.
I finally met God. Yeah, I’m serious, this isn’t a joke. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. Lots of people say they’ve met God, that they know him personally. They pray, meditate, receive impressions, dreams, and…
One warm September afternoon, Jake Salsa, quarterback of the high school football team, walked with his teammates to the student car lot after a bruising two-hour practice in the blazing sun. They laughed and joked about the things all high…
Jayal knew the only way he could ever escape the oppressive totalitarian state was by his own hand. For a month, he pretended to take the sleeping pills they allotted him each night, saving them for the night he would…
One warm summer evening, Lukas reclined on his lounge chair by the pool, scrolling through his phone. “Yay, they’re deporting all those illegals!” he exclaimed. His roommate, Jing Lee, reclining on a nearby chair soaking up the sun, peered at…
It was a brisk Halloween night, and Alejandro handed out candy at his front door to an endless parade of trick-or-treaters dressed as ghosts, witches, zombies, clowns, princesses, superheroes, and horror movie characters. But the most popular costume this year…
A reporter once asked the president, “Should conditions warrant, would you ever consider suspending habeas corpus?” “Habeas who?” asked the president. “Habeas Corpus,” answered the reporter. The president shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. Habeas Corpus sounds like a Latin name…
My roommate Rich says, “You know, some people criticize the president for being selfish and uncaring, but it’s not true.” I raise my eyebrows at his assertion. “Oh?” I say. “Yes, he has everyone’s best interests in mind. I’ll prove…
The alarm on Gregory Wendell’s phone jangled, breaking the calm stillness of early morning. He dismissed the alarm and scanned the latest notifications on the screen, his eyes blurry with sleep. He jolted awake as he read the headlines. “Daniel…
In the near future of a dark world, the JoyCom Corporation sells mood bracelets that help people regulate emotions—inducing joy and happiness in place of sadness and despair. Feeling blue? A Joy Jolt is a button press away. Having a…
In a parallel universe, President Daniel Triumph was holding a press conference. A reporter asked if he was concerned about terrorist sleeper cells activating after the bombing of Iranizbad. The President responded: “Our dumb former president, ‘Sleepy Joe Lyin’, let…
“Pathetic losers,” I smirk, as the credits rolled on my favorite Reality Crime TV show, “Predator SmackDown.” I shake my head. How stupid can these guys be? I look at my phone. Drat! Not enough time for another episode. I…
“Hey man, look at this.” Tomas shoves his phone under my nose. A notification says: “Your package is out for delivery. Jesus is your driver.” “Wow,” I say. “So…Jesus takes the wheel?” Tomas chuckles. “Haha, I didn’t think of that,…
Another unbearable, sweltering summer day. I pour myself a soft drink and open the freezer for more ice. Empty. Great. My ice maker has stopped working. I remember reading a post earlier on the local online community webpage that said…
“Mommy, why are they sending us away?” I squeeze Zirka’s hand and fake a smile the best I can. “Because they say we have to leave, honey.” “But why, Mommy? What did we do wrong?” Her puzzled expression tells me…