Stories using irony, absurdity, or exaggeration to poke at society, culture, politics, religion, and human behavior.
The Prime Minister stood before King Bartholomew’s throne. “Today I am appointing Lord Barnaby Bragglesworth as Royal Herald,” said the king. “As a lawyer, he is exceptionally qualified to speak on my behalf and deliver proclamations and royal decisions to…
King Bartholomew summoned the ambassadors of Ukravia and Ruzkovia to the palace. “Ambassadors, thanks for coming today. I am pleased to hear of the ceasefire between your countries.” The ambassadors looked at each other, then at the king. “Your Majesty,…
King Bartholomew summoned the royal scribes and bookmakers into his palace. They bowed before his throne as he ate his noon meal. He motioned with his hands. “Scribes! Bookmakers! Rise! I have learned you are accepting royalties. Give an account…
King Bartholomew summoned the Royal Alchemists to the throne room. They bowed before the king. “Alchemists! You have failed to turn lead into gold.” “From this day forward, I declare you shall no longer be alchemists. You are henceforth magicians!”…
King Bartholomew’s armies attacked the distant land of Iranizbad. For months, the war dragged on. He assured his subjects that victory was near. Farmers couldn’t afford feed for livestock, or fertilizer for crops. People couldn’t afford food to eat, or…
Mr. and Mrs. Termite tucked themselves into their little bed. Mr. Termite’s tummy growled. “That was a long trip, honey. I’m really hungry.” “Me too,” said Mrs. Termite, “let’s eat. There’s a lot of food here.” “Yes, it is a…
King Bartholomew smacked his arm. “Drat! The mosquitoes have invaded the kingdom!” “Prime Minister: Prepare the Declaration of War on Mosquitoes.” “Minister of War: Prepare the armies to repel the invasion. Provide every soldier with fly swatters.” “Your Majesty, may…
I watch from the side as the director counts down with his fingers… three… two… one. He points to the silver-haired man dressed in a navy power suit standing before a studio audience. The camera’s little light turns red. “Hello…
Rumors spread across the realm that King Bartholomew would build a triumphal arch in the city. “The bigliest arch ever built,” boasted the King. “No one has ever seen bigger.” Soon, the royal crews began building on the palace grounds,…
The more King Bartholomew ages, the more things he forgets. To help himself remember, he renames everything in the kingdom. The river becomes Bartholomew River. The capital city, Bartholomew City. The royal forest, Bartholomew Forest. He renames the royal palace,…
The Orange Ants and Red Ants lived on opposite sides of the Great Puddle. They often traded goods with each other. One day, the Orange Ants’ leader demanded that the Red Ants reduce the price of everything they sold by…
It was the day after yesterday, and Jimmy was skiing on clouds. His mother warned him about the thin ones. “Stay away from those cirrus clouds, son. You need to ride the cumulus clouds. They’re much safer.” Yeah, and boring. …
Bailiff Henry: “All rise. The court of Adverbial Malfeasance is in session.” Judge Zelda Sol walks through the chamber door and sits in the oversized leather chair behind the bench. Judge Zelda: “Good morning, everyone. Public Defender Miles Mercer, you…
The man with the oddly bronzed skin and thinning comb-over scowled into the cameras. “Voting by mail is cheating and must be stopped. It leads to fraud and rigged elections, and unfairly favors the other party.” He scrawled his signature…
The Red Kingdom had many dragons. The Blue Kingdom had no dragons. One day, the Red Kingdom’s spies arrived at the royal palace and bowed before the king. “Your Majesty, we have heard rumors that the Blue Kingdom is trying…
Noah stepped from the ark onto dry ground and looked to the sky. “Thank you, God, for saving me and my family and the animals.” “My pleasure,” said the Lord. “I’ll release the animals right away to go out and…
A dozen sheep plus two follow Noah down the ramp of the ark, blinking in the light of the sun they had not seen for a year. A dazzling rainbow stretches across the sky. One sheep turns to another. “What…
Black clouds gathered overhead. Thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed in the distance. Noah checked the shipping manifest: Crickets, seven pairs. Check. Ants, one pair. Check. Sheep, seven pairs. Check. Tyrannosaurus, one pair. Check. Food for the carnivores… Noah looked at the…
At first, it looked like dawn on the far side of the world. Another morning stirring people from their sleep, full of the laughter and promise of a new day. Until the horizon began to burn. As he watched it…
“Mom, did Jeffrey Dahmer become a born-again Christian before he died?” asked Jonny. “He said he did,” his mother answered. “So he went to heaven?” “If he became a believer, then yes, I guess he did.” “Did the people he…
The war lasted 47 minutes. The first missiles rose from their hidden silos in the Great Plains before dawn. The next wave launched from submarines lurking silently in the Mediterranean Sea. The last warhead arrived before the morning news had…
The doorbell jangled as a couple walked into the Smith Family Farms Cafe and took a seat at the crowded bar counter. Vera handed them menus and greeted them cheerfully, “Happy Independence Day!” “Hi,” the man replied. “We’re only having…
My mind wanders to a faraway place as the speaker on stage spins fanciful stories of miracles performed and prophecies fulfilled. “He’s a modern-day prophet,” said my best friend, Dave, who convinced me to come to this revival crusade tonight…
The President of the United States said that a big, beautiful ballroom would be the most secure place to keep people safe. I agree wholeheartedly with his assertion. In a country plagued by repeated acts of gun violence and threats…
The timer started. I’m doing a 15-minute writing sprint with Keiren Westwood, a writer I follow on YouTube. Now, I don’t have a story or even an idea at this moment, so I will free-write and see what comes…. The…
Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Trumpty together again
12-year-old Lucy Smith rushed into the living room, clutching her Bible, tears on her cheeks. “Daddy, I’m scared!” “Aww…come here, baby.” She ran to her father’s open arms, and he enveloped her in a gentle hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.…
A famous world leader I shall not name, Said, “Smart people don’t like me you know.” Well, that must make me immensely smart, For I dislike him intensely so.
I finally met God. Yeah, I’m serious, this isn’t a joke. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. Lots of people say they’ve met God, that they know him personally. They pray, meditate, receive impressions, dreams, and…
One warm September afternoon, Jake Salsa, quarterback of the high school football team, walked with his teammates to the student car lot after a bruising two-hour practice in the blazing sun. They laughed and joked about the things all high…