Little Rooms. Trap Doors.
Little Rooms. Trap Doors.
Stories written to amuse, whether gently, absurdly, or wickedly.
Bailiff Henry: “All rise. The court of Adverbial Malfeasance is in session.” Judge Zelda Sol walks through the chamber door and sits in the oversized leather chair behind the bench. Judge Zelda: “Good morning, everyone. Public Defender Miles Mercer, you…
Every morning for the last five years I’ve toasted two slices of bread for breakfast. I toast it dark brown, slightly burnt, and super crispy. A pat of butter, a squeeze of honey, and I’m good to go. Until yesterday.…
I sat in the padded seat as customers came through the door of the little cafe. Breakfast rush. It’s filling up fast. She sat down. “Mornin’ Frankie,” said Bobby, as he flipped pancakes and turned hash browns on the grill.…
Nearly 10 o’clock. Jimmy Jones stared at his 5th grade homework assignment. “Write a very short story of 100-300 words, using the title prompt: It Rocks Like a Baby in the Cradle. Oh crap, why did I wait so late…
A dozen sheep plus two follow Noah down the ramp of the ark, blinking in the light of the sun they had not seen for a year. A dazzling rainbow stretches across the sky. One sheep turns to another. “What…
Black clouds gathered overhead. Thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed in the distance. Noah checked the shipping manifest: Crickets, seven pairs. Check. Ants, one pair. Check. Sheep, seven pairs. Check. Tyrannosaurus, one pair. Check. Food for the carnivores… Noah looked at the…
My phone chimes as an offer pops up on my food delivery app. I click “accept” and head for Penny’s Pizza. A few minutes later I pull into the parking lot and look for a space. My breath catches when…
Her skirt sways as she walks, and my heart falls into step with hers. Her perfume intoxicates me, leaving me quivering at her feet. I ache to hold her close, gently caress her brow, and softly kiss her lips. But…
The doorbell jangled as a couple walked into the Smith Family Farms Cafe and took a seat at the crowded bar counter. Vera handed them menus and greeted them cheerfully, “Happy Independence Day!” “Hi,” the man replied. “We’re only having…
“Bye, honey, I’ll see you tonight!” I shout out to my wife, Jelinja, as she opens the front door to leave. “Be home in time for dinner.” She grins back at me. “Well, of course, babe, I would never miss…
“Oh man, he beat me to it!” my roommate Bryan exclaims as he lounges on the living room couch. “Who beat you to what?” I ask, startled by his sudden outburst. He stops scrolling his phone and looks up at…
I remove my new laptop from the cardboard box and tight styrofoam packing, and carefully unwrap the sealed plastic wrap encasing it. I admire the sleek, brushed metal case that feels so solid and light in my hands. I got…
In the living room, the TV blares a bouncy kids’ tune that dissolves into a symphony of chaos—her two young sons shrieking as they toss toys and tussle, her hungry, over-stimulated toddler daughter wailing to high heaven. In the kitchen,…
I have an addiction It starts as a gentle itch that tickles the corner of my mind, demanding a scratch. I resist — but it persists — and grows stronger every hour. My resolve is firm. I don’t want it.…
A famous world leader I shall not name, Said, “Smart people don’t like me you know.” Well, that must make me immensely smart, For I dislike him intensely so.
She sat alone in a dilapidated booth at the 24-hour diner. She glanced at her watch. Nearly midnight. Where is he? The door jangled as he walked in, a grimace replacing his usual smile. A woman followed close behind, scowling.…
Art browsed through the bric-a-brac on the crowded, dusty shelves in the old antique store, finding little of interest. He spotted an odd-looking object tucked away in the back that looked like a little metal pitcher with a handle and…
One warm September afternoon, Jake Salsa, quarterback of the high school football team, walked with his teammates to the student car lot after a bruising two-hour practice in the blazing sun. They laughed and joked about the things all high…
“You need to develop a writing habit,” the experts say. “Set a goal every day to write 100, 200, 500 words or more. Maybe even 1000 per day if you can, and you will write a complete novel in 60…
The air was crisp and cold in the Wisconsin woods, a hint of winter to come. On the narrow path, the young boy, lost and alone, came to a fork, with no sign showing the way home. “Make the right…
It terrifies me to no end, beginning anytime, anywhere, a silent ambush, with no warning or sound. Imperceptible at first, it quickly grows in ferocity of attack, every second more intense than the last, until I can think of nothing…
I’m startled awake by the sound of a blaring trumpet. What was that? The moonlight streaming through my bedroom window tells me it’s still night, but my wife’s side of the bed is empty. Where did she go? My breath…
Every day, Bunny Rabbit loved to run through the lush green meadow in the pine forest, feeling the soft blades of grass tickle his paws with every bound. He adored the fragrant scent of the wildflowers that dotted the land…
A reporter once asked the president, “Should conditions warrant, would you ever consider suspending habeas corpus?” “Habeas who?” asked the president. “Habeas Corpus,” answered the reporter. The president shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. Habeas Corpus sounds like a Latin name…
My roommate Rich says, “You know, some people criticize the president for being selfish and uncaring, but it’s not true.” I raise my eyebrows at his assertion. “Oh?” I say. “Yes, he has everyone’s best interests in mind. I’ll prove…
As I signal to turn left, the Chevy pickup truck behind me speeds past on the right shoulder, horn blaring. The driver throws a middle-finger salute out the window and yells something that sounds like “Luck you!” I’m going a…
As I watch a televised game between the Giants and Nationals at San Francisco’s Oracle Park, the announcers flashback to the historic 2007 moment when slugger Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run against Nationals pitcher Mike Bacsic, breaking Hank…
Another foggy Halloween night, pitch black save for a few freshly carved jack-o’-lanterns perched on the river’s edge, their flickering light casting ghoulish shadows on the nearby trees. A breeze moaned through the leaves, sending a pleasant chill down Sharon’s…
“Nice seeing you, Joel. Have a great day!” Joel chuckles, or is that a smirk? Hard to tell. “You too, Albert. Have a great next 24 hours.” With those words, Joel Amos goes on his way. I walk to my…
In a parallel universe, President Daniel Triumph was holding a press conference. A reporter asked if he was concerned about terrorist sleeper cells activating after the bombing of Iranizbad. The President responded: “Our dumb former president, ‘Sleepy Joe Lyin’, let…