Genre: Humor

Stories written to amuse, whether gently, absurdly, or wickedly.

Bad Biscuits

It was a grueling eight-hour shift that felt like forever, but finally, it was over. Joe somehow drove home without crashing, and he staggered through the front door of his tiny one-bedroom apartment. Kicking off his shoes, he took a…

The Price of a Wish

I let out a whoop. “Whoa, look at this!” With my hand, I brushed the dust off the ornate purple bottle I found in a pile of debris in the attic. Larry tiptoed gingerly through the clutter towards me. He…

When Comfort and Cold Collide

I check my phone’s weather app. It’s -6℉, with a windchill of -23℉. I slide open the patio door and stick out my head. I shiver as icy fingers of cold air assault me. Brrr…that stings! I shut the slider…

The Sweet Life of Mrs. Hazel Winslow

Today is Mrs. Hazel Winslow’s turn to host the monthly neighborhood coffee klatch. Since it’s the host’s duty to provide refreshments, she spent the morning baking fresh muffins, pastries, and gingerbread cookies. She expected the usual attendees—her neighbors, Mary, Joy,…

Beef Stroganoff

Richard is Martha’s husband. She calls him Dick.  One day, Martha discovered Dick secretly watches adult videos. Martha says nothing. She cooks beef stroganoff for him every night.  Dick doesn’t get it. Nor does he get why she doesn’t make…

Predator SmackDown

“Pathetic losers,” I smirk, as the credits rolled on my favorite Reality Crime TV show, “Predator SmackDown.” I shake my head. How stupid can these guys be?  I look at my phone. Drat! Not enough time for another episode. I…

Connor’s Cookbook Conundrum

One rainy Saturday morning, Connor, a very ordinary, bored-out-of his-mind teenager, was looking for a snack in the pantry when he found a vegan cookbook on the top shelf. The cover featured a colorful montage of salads, soups, and sandwiches…

My Talk with Dad

“We need to talk,” says dad.  “Okay, I’ve got a few minutes. What’s up?” “Have a seat while I get some coffee.” I sit at the dining room table. Dad fills his coffee cup and sits next to me. He…

Keenan’s Second Chance

After his divorce, Keenan thought he would never find love again. He hated being alone. He missed female companionship. Twelve years together, then she was gone. Oh, how he longed for a second chance!   Then he met her, and they…

Mr. Cheesepuff and the Squeakles

The Squeakle family lived in the forgotten basement of the quaint little cottage of Mrs. Fluffenmutter—an elderly white-haired lady whose eyesight and hearing weren’t quite what they used to be. The Squeakles were a bustling clan of mice, comprising Mama…

Jesus Takes the Wheel

“Hey man, look at this.” Tomas shoves his phone under my nose. A notification says: “Your package is out for delivery. Jesus is your driver.” “Wow,” I say. “So…Jesus takes the wheel?” Tomas chuckles. “Haha, I didn’t think of that,…

A Very Fine Bird Dog Indeed

Commander Arelle Zinhara checked the sensors on the dashboard a final time. Oxygen: 21%, Nitrogen: 78%, Trace Gases: 1.0%. All good, she noted, the air sustainable for life, with no need for the breathing unit. She pressed the red button…

Skippy’s Guilty Pleasures

Jimmy points to the empty container on the kitchen counter. “Okay, Skippy, ‘fess up!” I look away like I don’t see him. “Skippy?” I hang my head. I’m busted. I say nothing; my guilt is written on my face. Jimmy…

When Aliens Came to Tea

It was 11:30 am on the day the spaceship landed in Carol’s back yard. She didn’t know it was a spaceship at first; she thought the noise she heard was from the street sweeper going by as it did every…

The Most Beautiful Girl in Town

Wherever she went, heads turned. Men stared and whistled. Women gave her a jealous eye and whispered.  Everyone agreed: she was the most beautiful girl in town. With model-good looks that made men weak in the knees, and women weak…

My Laptop Surprise

The doorbell rings. It’s here! The new laptop I bought online a few days ago. I am so excited. It’s the latest model, with all the bells and whistles I need, and I got it for a song.  I retrieve…

Nutmeg: The Little Squirrel Who Could

Nutmeg was the runt of the litter, the smallest squirrel in the largest park in the city called New York. He was too small and too slow to get many acorns before the bigger and faster squirrels did. By the…

Bagged Ice

Another unbearable, sweltering summer day. I pour myself a soft drink and open the freezer for more ice. Empty. Great. My ice maker has stopped working.  I remember reading a post earlier on the local online community webpage that said…

Crimson Stains

My hands drip crimson as I put the knife in the sink. What a mess. I scrub hard with soap and water, but to my dismay, my hands are stained. A dead giveaway to the act I committed.  I need…

A Fright in the Night

I’m startled awake as I hear a noise in my dark bedroom, dimly lit only by a nightlight in the far corner. The digital clock on my nightstand reads 3:43 am. It’s quiet. What woke me up? What did I…

Demons in the Details

I sit at my cluttered desk, surrounded by pencils, empty soda cans, and half-eaten bags of chips. I open my phone’s email app and read the message from my online course art instructor.  Hi Class, Last reminder to provide ten…

The Last Person on Earth

Saint Peter greets Pope Francis at the Pearly Gates with a warm embrace. “Welcome to heaven,” says Peter. “We weren’t expecting you quite so soon.”  A choir of white-robed angels with harps strike up the heavenly anthem reserved for the…

A.1. and the Secretary

Tony watched the evening news, amused as the Secretary of Education referred to “A1” instead of “AI” in a discussion about technology in schools. He rolled his eyes at her gaffe. Suddenly, he craved a juicy steak smothered in A.1.…

Together Forever

I hold her hand, barely able to see her closed eyes in the dim light as she sleeps, so peaceful and still. I marvel at her sight; she is every bit as beautiful now as the day she said “I…

My New Job

I put on my jacket, gloves, and baseball cap and headed out the door. Today I’m starting my new job, and it’s going to be a little chilly outside. Better button up.  A five-minute drive later, I arrived and parked…

The Interview

I see the orange ball crest the distant city skyline, and I look at my dashboard clock. Crap, I’m going to be late.  I’m caught in the morning traffic rush, but there’s nothing rush about it–it’s moving at a glacial…

Cosmic Beams and Bunny Dreams

Last night was cold, but not so cold that we couldn’t go outside and enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime show. We watched in awe as millions of tiny shooting stars showered us with a dazzling display of light. The Earth was passing…

The Watcher

I’m being watched. I feel eyes on me, studying my every move. I look around my little apartment, searching for a bug, a hidden camera, a microphone. Anything. I find nothing. Am I going crazy? They say computers spy on…

The Wayward Shadow

The alarm buzzed, shattering my sleep. 6 a.m. already? I groaned, rolled out of bed, and headed to the bathroom. Something caught my eye. I saw my shadow dart away from me and head for the open bedroom door. I…