A Rapture You Won’t Miss

I’m startled awake by the sound of a blaring trumpet. What was that? The moonlight streaming through my bedroom window tells me it’s still night, but my wife’s side of the bed is empty. Where did she go?  

My breath catches, my hands shake, and terror races through my veins. The thing I have feared the most my entire life has finally happened. She’s gone like a thief in the night, and I’ve been left behind. I missed the Rapture! 

Oh God, please no!

I pray and ask for forgiveness for every sin I have ever committed, and I beg for another chance. It’s my worst nightmare come true. I’ve seen the movies and read the books, and I know what happens next.

I hear a rustle of sheets, and my heart sinks with the mattress. They’ve come for me! My wife snuggles up behind me and gently strokes my hair. I exhale my bated breath and try to hide my panic. “W…where did you go?” I stammer. 

“The car horn got stuck, and I went out to fix it,” she whispers. “You were snoring so loud you didn’t hear it, and I didn’t want to wake you up. Go back to sleep, dear.”

There’s no way I can go back to sleep now; I’m wide awake. I roll over and face her dim shape in the dark. “Oh, I heard it all right; it woke me up and scared me half to death. You’re gonna think I’m crazy or paranoid or whatever, but I gotta tell you something.”

“Tell me what?” She snickers. “I already know you’re a little crazy, but shoot.” 

“That horn, I thought it was the last trumpet, and I missed the Rapture. I thought I was left behind — that you left me behind — and I was so terrified I almost had a heart attack.” 

“Awww, baby, I’m sorry.” She kisses my cheek, soft and tender. “You know I love you forever, and I will never leave you behind.” She nibbles on my ear. “How about I give you a rapture you won’t miss, or ever forget?

“I would like that,” I whisper.

And she did.