Jesus Takes the Wheel

“Hey man, look at this.”

Tomas shoves his phone under my nose. A notification says: “Your package is out for delivery. Jesus is your driver.”

“Wow,” I say. “So…Jesus takes the wheel?”

Tomas chuckles. “Haha, I didn’t think of that, but yeah, I guess he has. That makes it even better.”

“Makes it better?” I ask.

“God told me to order a bible a couple of days ago. I wasn’t sure it was really God, but I ordered it anyway. And now God confirmed I made the right decision by having Jesus deliver it.

I groan. “God talks to you?”

“Yeah, man, why wouldn’t God talk to me?”

“Okay…cool…but I think it’s more likely a coincidence than a supernatural sign from God”

“You heathen,” Tomas says. “This is way too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. Can’t you see?”

“Huh?” I shake my head. “No, I can’t see. I’m pretty sure his name is pronounced ‘Hay-Soos’ anyway. Not ‘Gee-Sus’ as in Jesus Christ.’”

Tomas rolls his eyes. “Come on, man, just go with it. How often do you get a personal delivery from Jesus?”

“It’s been a while,” I say. I try to remember if I have ever had someone named Jesus deliver anything to me and I come up blank.. 

I feel a mischievous mood coming on. I cross my arms and lean back on the couch. “Okay, sure, I’ll indulge in your little theory of divine confirmation. What does that make you? The chosen one to receive a special God nod?”

“Clearly,” Tomas retorts. He waves his hands in a wild gesture, like a magician revealing a bunny in a hat. “I’m on a mission from God. Just like the Blues Brothers!”

“Maybe your mission should be to get your internet shopping under control,” I say, as I try to keep a straight face.

Tomas looks offended. “Hey man, don’t hate on my spiritual enlightenment!” He pokes a finger at my chest. “This is serious business. God’s business.

I laugh and push his finger away. “Sure, whatever you say, bro. Let’s make a bet,” I challenge. I’ll place $20 that he pronounces his name ‘Hay-Soos.’ You win if it’s ‘Gee-Sus.’” 

He looks at the ceiling, and I can almost hear the gears whirling in his head as he contemplates my offer. “Yeah…no, I don’t think so, man.”

“Chicken.” I flap my arms like fluttering wings. “Bok bok bok bok!”

Tomas groans. “Okay,” he says. “Why not?” We shake hands. “I’m going to win, you know. This is a divine appointment.” 

“Sucker,” I smirk. Tomas is always looking for signs and weird coincidences and numbers and stuff, but despite his quirks, it’s moments like this that make him a good friend.

Tomas raises his hand and puts his finger to his lips. I peer through the peephole in the door and see a blue delivery van stop at the curb. The driver hops out, package in hand, and heads up the walkway. “Here’s our come to Jesus moment,” I say.

“More like our ‘Jesus comes to us moment,’” Tomas adds. “Is he wearing a robe? Does he have a halo?”

“We’ll find out in a sec,” I answer. 

The doorbell rings. Tomas opens the door as the driver steps up to the porch. “Gee-Sus?” Tomas says. The driver shakes his head. “Hay-Soos?” The driver shakes his head again.

“My name’s Jesse. He hands the package to Tomas.

“W-what?” Tomas said, his voice incredulous. “You’re not Jesus?”

I’m dying inside, and can’t hold my composure. I burst out laughing. “We’re both wrong! I say. “He’s not Jesus at all.”

Tomas laughs with me, and Jesse stares at us with a perplexed look. “What’s the deal? Were you expecting a divine delivery today?”

“Something like that,” Tomas chortles. “Are you sure you’re not Jesus?”

“I’m Jesse,” he says. Our laughter is infectious, and Jesse joins in our mirth. “Sorry to disappoint you guys. I’m definitely not Jesus. But I’m glad I brought some levity with the package today. He tips his cap. “Have a great day, guys.” He turns around and heads back to his van, still chuckling.

We walk inside and laugh like hyenas for a good five minutes. “Oh my gosh, hilarious,” I gasp. “It wasn’t Jesus. It wasn’t a divine confirmation. It was Jesse. Neither of us won the bet.”

Tomas nods. “I’m a little bummed it wasn’t Jesus at the wheel. Just an ordinary dude named Jesse. But Jesse wasn’t such a bad driver after all.