Icy Halloween

It was Halloween, and Alejandro handed out candy at his front door to an endless parade of trick-or-treaters dressed as ghosts, witches, zombies, clowns, princesses, superheroes, and horror movie characters. But the most popular costume this year appeared to be children and adults dressed as I.C.E. agents, replete with tactical gear, badges, toy guns, and handcuffs.  

As the evening wore on, the stream of visitors thinned to a trickle. Good thing, Alejandro thought, as he peered at his nearly empty candy bucket. Just enough for a few more trick-or-treaters, then lights out for the night. 

A pint-sized pair dressed as Freddy Krueger and Pennywise the clown walked up to the porch, their mother in tow. “Trick or treat!” they chimed in unison, and they held out their orange jack-o’-lantern pails. “Ooh, my, you are very scary,” Alejandro exclaimed, as he dropped the last fun-sized candy bars into their pails. They giggled and thanked him; their mother nodded a weary smile and guided them down the sidewalk towards the next house.  

He looked into his empty bucket and sighed, disappointed that the candy was gone. Time to shut the door and turn out the porch light so people would know not to knock. As he turned to go inside, a couple of grown-ups dressed in the familiar I.C.E. agent costumes walked up to his porch holding their pails. “Trick or treat,” they chorused. 

Alejandro inwardly groaned, because he had no more candy to give. “I’m sorry, but I’m all out,” he said. “I hope you understand.” They stood there waiting expectantly. “Try Mr. Smith next door,” he suggested. “It looks like he’s still giving out treats. By the way, cool costumes, guys — they look so real. Happy Halloween.”

“No problem,” said one, “we’ll go next door.” They exchanged glances. “I have a question,” he continued. “Are you Alejandro Garcis?” 

Alejandro felt a chill that had nothing to do with the night air. “I am,” he answered. “Do I know you? Are you my new neighbors?” 

“No,” the man said. “Just making sure.” He lunged suddenly and tackled Alejandro to the ground, pinned his arms behind his back, and zip-tied his wrists. Hey, hey, what’s going on?” he protested. “Let me go! I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

The man jerked Alejandro roughly to his feet and frisked him. “Yes, you did,” he laughed. “You’re under arrest for running out of candy.”

The second man snickered. “No, he’s kidding. We’re not here for candy. But we are here to trick or treat, and the trick’s on you.”

Alejandro shook his head, perplexed. “I don’t understand.” Is this a prank? If it is, it’s not very funny. Please untie me; it hurts,” he pleaded. 

“No way, Jose…I mean Alejandro,” the first man scoffed. “In case you haven’t guessed, we’re not wearing Halloween costumes. These are the real deal, and we’re real agents with Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Your visa has been revoked, and you will be deported immediately. Adios, Amigo!”