<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today is Mrs. Hazel Winslow\u2019s turn to host the monthly neighborhood coffee klatch. Since it\u2019s the host\u2019s duty to provide refreshments, she spent the morning baking fresh muffins, pastries, and gingerbread cookies. She expected the usual attendees\u2014her neighbors, Mary, Joy, April, and Brandy. They should be here at 11 a.m. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel hummed a hymn as she removed the last batch of blueberry muffins from the oven and put in a tray of gingerbread men and women cookies. She used special cookie cutters that gave the gingerbread women skirts and the gingerbread men trousers, so you could tell them apart. Everybody loved her gingerbread people cookies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She readied the counter with plates, napkins, cups, and silverware, fruit, and freshly baked pastries and muffins. When done, she sat on the barstool to resume reading \u201cFreddy the Detective,\u201d the classic children\u2019s book she first read as a kid. It\u2019s a charming story about a group of talking farm animals led by the very plump pig, Freddy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before she finished one page, her mind wandered to a wonderfully crazy world where animals could talk to humans and each other. As she reveled in the fantasy, images of Philo flitted across her mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, how she missed him! After Philo passed several months ago, the bitter pang of crushing loneliness returned\u2014a silent intruder bent on snuffing the very light from her soul, just as it tried to do in the dark days a decade before. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oppressive. Stifling. Unbearable. The dictionary did not contain enough adjectives to describe the soul-sucking pain she endured for months that seemed like an eternity. Some nights, she wished she could end it all forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel brushed away a tear. Philo became her lifesaver and best friend from the day they met, nearly a year after Mr. Winslow walked out the door. A miniature poodle with black tightly curled fur, Philo was smart as a whip and unswervingly loyal\u2014the perfect companion for a lonely, elderly woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Boy, could that dog talk! She didn\u2019t know dogs could talk before she met Philo, but he could talk the ears off a stalk of corn. She smiled as she recalled the great conversations they had on many subjects\u2014from philosophy to politics and everything in between. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Immersed in thoughts of her late beloved pet, the timer buzzed and startled her back to the present. Time to take out the cookies. As she removed the tray from the oven, she heard a raspy male voice say, \u201cIt\u2019s about time!\u201d A higher-pitched raspy female voice chimed in, \u201cYeah lady, it\u2019s hotter than Hell\u2019s Kitchen in there. I\u2019m about to croak.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She put the hot cookie sheet on the counter and peered at the gingerbread cookies lying on the tray. Did they just talk, or was it her imagination? Surely cookies can\u2019t talk, but then she remembered Freddy the pig, the farm animals, and Philo. If farm animals and a dog could talk, why not cookies? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh my, I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d Hazel apologized. \u201cI hope I didn\u2019t hurt you. Are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I am now,\u201d snapped the gingerbread man. \u201cAny more heat and I would have been toast. Haha! Bad metaphor,\u201d he chuckled. \u201cNot toast. A crispy-critter cookie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What kind of magic is this, Hazel wondered. How could this gingerbread man speak, let alone without a mouth, since she hadn\u2019t given him one? Somehow, he was. \u201cYou look fine,\u201d she said. \u201cNot half-baked, not burnt, but perfectly crispy.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf you say so,\u201d said the gingerbread man. \u201cMy name is Dante. Hahaha, get it? Dante\u2019s Inferno?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel rolled her eyes. \u201cYeah, I get it. That\u2019s a hot joke, Dante. I\u2019d better throw you in the freezer and cool you down.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, no, not the freezer,\u201d Dante pleaded in mock terror. \u201cI\u2019m cool, a cool cat, you might say. He pointed to the gingerbread woman on his left. Hazel wondered whether she imagined it, or was he actually pointing, because everybody knows gingerbread men aren\u2019t supposed to point. She decided he was.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is my wife, Danibelle,\u201d said Dante. \u201cDani rings my bell. Get it? Dani\u2026Bell? Haha. Best gingerbread wife ever!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel groaned. Oh my gosh, a gingerbread man who tells dad jokes, really bad dad jokes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou gonna say \u2018hi\u2019 to my wife?\u201d asked Dante. \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t keep a lady waiting. You know, \u2018lady-in-waiting.\u2019 Haha. Get it? I should have been an egg\u2014I really crack myself up.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh dear, stop already,\u201d Hazel teased with a playful grin. \u201cI\u2019m going to die of a bad-dad-joke-infection.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHaha! A bad-dad-joke-infection,\u201d Dante quipped, \u201cthat\u2019s dad-gummed-funny.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt is funny,\u201d Hazel agreed. \u201cYou know what\u2019s funnier? You have cracked egg in your DNA, baked-in, a part of the recipe you were made from. Maybe that\u2019s why you\u2019re so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCracked,\u201d Danibelle interjected, \u201ca cracked nut more like. Only good for squirrel food. But he\u2019s my nut, so I guess I\u2019ll have to keep him. I\u2019m glad to meet you Mrs\u2026?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMrs. Hazel Winslow. I live here alone. My friends call me Hazel; you can call me Hazel too.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan you get us off this tray, Hazel Too?\u201d asked Danibelle. \u201cMy backside is still baking. I have some hot buns right now, and I\u2019m not even a cinnamon roll.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, you got some \u2018hot buns\u2019 honey,\u201d chimed Dante. \u201cOr I should say, you got some \u2018hot honey buns,\u2019 honey bun.\u201d The gingerbread couple cackled with laughter, and Hazel thought she heard snickers coming from the other gingerbread folk as well. Maybe I\u2019m the one cracking up, she mused, then she brushed the troubling thought aside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dIt\u2019s Hazel, not Hazel Too,\u201d Hazel corrected Danibelle. \u201cYou two are quite the comedy duo, a real Ricky and Lucy Ricardo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLuuuuucyyyyy!\u201d Dante called out in an exaggerated Ricky Ricardo style, and they burst into laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo your cookie friends talk too?\u201d Hazel asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey can talk, but they don\u2019t say much,\u201d said Danibelle. \u201cWe do most of the talking for everyone. But when someone eats them, they snap, crackle, and pop pretty loud, like the Rice Krispie guys. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHilarious,\u201d Hazel said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot too hilarious when you\u2019re being eaten,\u201d said Danibelle, but yeah.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTrivia fact,\u201d piped Dante. \u201cI bet you didn\u2019t know that there was a fourth Rice Krispie, did you? His name was \u2018Pow.\u2019 He was the spaceman Krispie guy from outer space. True story.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know that,\u201d said Hazel. \u201cWhat happened to Pow?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cProbably got abducted by aliens,\u201d Dante smirked. \u201cHad a big \u2018Pow Wow\u2019 in the sky, so to speak. Wait, if Pow was a spaceman, then he was probably an alien already. How could he abduct himself? I\u2019m confused.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel chuckled as she resumed work. What a hoot. This guy is a joke-a-minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With a spatula, she carefully scooped the cookies from the baking tray and placed them on a serving plate next to the platter of muffins and pastries on the kitchen counter. She kept Dante and Danibelle on a separate small plate away from the rest and propped them up against the napkin holder in the center of the table. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, hold still, guys, don\u2019t go anywhere. I need to start the coffee and heat the water for tea. My guests will be here soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dWe are gingerbread people, you know,\u201d said Dante, \u201cwe\u2019re not going anywhere but in someone\u2019s mouth.\u201d They laughed, and Hazel thought it was a very astute observation by the little gingerbread man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel carried on a lively conversation with the gingerbread couple for several minutes until the doorbell rang. \u201cThe ladies are here!\u201d she exclaimed. \u201cThey\u2019re going to love you guys!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*****<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel opened the front door and welcomed her guests. After greetings and hugs, she led them to the dining room, where she poured coffee and hot water for tea in their cups. They sat at the table and shared the latest gossip and news from around town. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With her quick wit and playful teasing, 64-year-old Brandy Smith set a raucous tone for the group. As something of a busy-body, Brandy soon had everybody up to date on local happenings and gossip. April Paine, 61 and recently divorced, giggled at everything, offering occasional dry quips as a humorous counterpoint. Mary Cress, 67, the only married woman of the group, shared a charming garden tale about bunnies, rutabaga, and snails. Joy Mellow, a 59-year-old divorcee, sat mostly quiet, her gentle smile and supportive nods reflecting her calm presence amidst the banter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLadies, please help yourself to the goodies,\u201d invited Hazel. \u201cMuffins and pastries and gingerbread cookies, fresh-baked from my oven. Also grapes, melon, and strawberries and cottage cheese if you rather. Just don\u2019t eat these two here.\u201d She gestured to Dante and Danibelle propped up on the plate facing the seated ladies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The women oohed-and-aahed over the baked goods. \u201cOh my gosh, this literally melts in my mouth,\u201d gushed Mary as she took a bite of a blueberry muffin. \u201cMmmm\u2026yeah\u2026so good,\u201d cooed April, \u201cbest pastries ever.\u201d With their mouths full of delectable treats, there were no further sounds from the ladies other than \u201cumm-hmm,\u201d \u201cyum,\u201d and satisfied sighs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel beamed. She worked hard at getting everything just right, and it paid off. It\u2019s always nice to get compliments from friends. And it was so nice to have them here today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo what\u2019s the deal with those two gingerbread cookies?\u201d asked Brandy. \u201cYou have them standing up like real people. And we can\u2019t eat them. Is there something special about them?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d answered Hazel. \u201cThey are my new friends. Meet Dante and Danibelle.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi, said the gingerbread couple in unison. \u201cWe\u2019re glad to meet you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The ladies looked at each other, then back at Hazel. \u201cThat\u2019s funny Hazel,\u201d said Mary. \u201cYou\u2019re naming your cookies now?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t name them,\u201d Hazel answered, \u201cthey told me their names when I met them. Didn\u2019t you hear them say \u2018hi?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo,\u201d said Joy. She looked at the other ladies and shrugged. \u201cDid you hear anything?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They shook their heads. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on Hazel?\u201d asked April. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel sighed. \u201cCome on ladies, don\u2019t you see? They talk to me. Please don\u2019t tell me you can\u2019t hear them. I\u2019m not crazy.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, honest, we didn\u2019t hear anything,\u201d said April. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel looked at the gingerbread couple. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, they didn\u2019t hear you. Can you say \u2018hi\u2019 again, a little louder this time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi ladies,\u201d said Danibelle. \u201cI\u2019m glad to meet you. This is my husband, Dante. Isn\u2019t he hot? Well, not quite as hot as the inferno he came out of today. He was \u2018smokin\u2019 hot\u2019 then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel managed a weak smile and looked back at her guests. \u201cSee, she talks. Funny too, isn\u2019t she?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brandy raised her eyebrows.\u201cUmm\u2026wow\u2026no, I don\u2019t hear anything,\u201d she said. \u201cSeriously Hazel. Is this a joke? Are you okay?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never felt better,\u201d Hazel replied. I\u2019ve never felt more sharp and alive than I do right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you are talking to cookies, and cookies don\u2019t talk. You know that, right?\u201d said Joy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel sighed, exasperated with her friends\u2019 disbelief. \u201cLadies, I used to talk with Philo all the time. We had lots of great conversations, and we understood each other perfectly. Since he\u2019s been gone, I\u2019ve been so lonely without him.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her face brightened. \u201cIf I can talk to my dog, why can\u2019t I talk to my cookies? Dante and Danibelle came right out of the oven and started talking to me. Isn\u2019t that amazing?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s disturbing,\u201d said April. \u201cWe all understand loneliness, and we know you\u2019ve been lonely without Philo. We\u2019re sorry for your loss. But you can\u2019t talk to imaginary friends. Especially cookies.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe we should get you another dog,\u201d suggested Mary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo! They\u2019re not imaginary!\u201d shouted Hazel. \u201cThey talk to me, and I talk to them! You think I\u2019m crazy don\u2019t you,but I\u2019m not! You\u2019re all jealous of me!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The ladies remained silent, unsure of what to say. Joy spoke first. \u201cAww\u2026geez Hazel, I\u2019m sorry. We\u2019re not saying you\u2019re crazy. But if I may speak for everyone else\u2026\u201d She looked around the table and they nodded. \u201cWe are concerned about you. Maybe you should talk to someone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She pulled a card from her purse. \u201cI know a good therapist. She helped me out when I went through a rough patch. Here\u2019s the number. Call her. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m not crazy,\u201d insisted Hazel, near tears. I have never felt more sane than I do right now. If anyone\u2019s crazy, it\u2019s you. And you have offended my friends. Right Dante? Danibelle?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, they said together. We are offended.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSee,\u201d said Hazel. \u201cYou offended them. I think you need to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think we need to go,\u201d said Joy. \u201cThanks for the coffee and muffins, Hazel. And please consider calling that number I gave you, okay?\u201d The ladies echoed their thanks, gathered their handbags, and rose to leave. Moments later, they were gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel looked at Dante and Danibelle, tears streaming from her eyes. \u201cI\u2019m sorry guys,\u201d she said. \u201cThey didn\u2019t mean to be rude. They don\u2019t understand.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt’s okay,\u201d said Dante. You\u2019re the only one we want to be a family with. You created us. You are our mother. We love you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFamily?\u201d Hazel whispered as she dabbed away the tears with a napkin. \u201cThank you. I love you too.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As she cleared the table of coffee mugs and plates, she heard a sound\u2014a voice perhaps?\u2014so soft she surely must have imagined it. She paused and listened. There it was again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe are your family too,\u201d said a voice. \u201cYou are our mother,\u201d said another. \u201cWe love you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel looked at Dante and Danibelle, but it wasn\u2019t them. She looked at the plates of muffins and pastries. No, it couldn\u2019t be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight here,\u201d said a voice. A voice from the muffin plate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUs too,\u201d squeaked a voice from the pastry plate. \u201cDon\u2019t forget us. We are your children. We love you, mother.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hazel felt a rush of joy she had not known since Philo passed away. No longer would she have to be alone. No longer would she need to spend endless nights praying for a companion to help ease the unbearable loneliness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mrs. Hazel Winslow reflected on her serendipity. \u201cWhat a sweet life!\u201d she marveled. \u201cAs long as I can bake, I will always have\u200c a family who loves me and accepts me as I am. Who cares what other people think? Who needs judgmental neighbors when I have a family like this?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She gazed upward and breathed a silent prayer: \u201cThank you God, for my family.\u201d As if they could read her mind, her newfound family\u2014the gingerbread people, the muffins, and the pastries\u2014all said together, \u201cAmen, mother! Amen!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today is Mrs. Hazel Winslow\u2019s turn to host the monthly neighborhood coffee klatch. Since it\u2019s the host\u2019s duty to provide refreshments, she spent the morning baking fresh muffins, pastries, and gingerbread cookies. She expected the usual attendees\u2014her neighbors, Mary, Joy, April, and Brandy. They should be here at 11 a.m. Hazel hummed a hymn as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2303,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,25],"tags":[17],"class_list":["post-2302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-psychological","tag-short-story"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":7}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/The-Sweet-Life.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2302","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2302"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2302\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3916,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2302\/revisions\/3916"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2302"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2302"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twistytales.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2302"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}