Saint Peter greets Pope Francis at the Pearly Gates with a warm embrace. “Welcome to heaven,” says Peter. “We weren’t expecting you quite so soon.”
A choir of white-robed angels with harps strike up the heavenly anthem reserved for the most holy and distinguished newcomers arriving at their celestial home.
“I’m surprised too,” says Francis. “I didn’t expect to arrive in heaven the day after Easter.”
Saint Peter looks perplexed. “What happened, my friend? Did you offend God? Did you commit a mortal sin?”
Pope Francis shakes his head. “Nothing I know of. But can we ever really know when we’re on the right side of God?”
He pauses for a moment in thought. “You know, I had a meeting with Vice-President JD Vance yesterday, and shortly thereafter, God called me to the hereafter. I was recovering so nicely from my recent illness when, whoosh–suddenly I’m here!”
Francis snickers. “I think God has a sense of humor.”
“How so?” asks Peter. “I know God pretty well after all these years, and he’s not usually the humorous type.”
“Well, I think he is,” chuckles the Pope. “When I once said that JD Vance was the last person on earth I would ever want to meet, I didn’t think God would take my words so literally.”
